PEREMPUAN YG DICINTAI SUAMIKU (Intermezo)

PEREMPUAN YG DICINTAI SUAMIKU Kehidupan pernikahan kami awalnya baik2 saja menurutku. Meskipun menjelang pernikahan selalu terjadi konflik, tapi setelah menikah Mario tampak baik dan lebih menuruti apa mauku.Kami tidak pernah bertengkar hebat, kalau marah dia cenderung diam dan pergi kekantornya bekerja sampai subuh, baru pulang kerumah, mandi, kemudian mengantar anak kami sekolah.

Tidurnya sangat sedikit, makannya pun sedikit. Aku pikir dia workaholic.Dia menciumku maksimal 2x sehari, pagi menjelang kerja, dan saat dia pulang kerja, itupun kalau aku masih bangun. Karena waktu pacaran dia tidak pernah romantis, aku pikir, memang dia tidak romantis, dan tidak memerlukan hal2 seperti itu sebagai ungkapan sayang.Kami jarang ngobrol sampai malam, kami jarang pergi nonton berdua, bahkan makan berdua diluarpun hampir tidak pernah. Kalau kami makan di meja makan berdua, kami asyik sendiri dengan sendok garpu kami, bukan obrolan yang terdengar, hanya denting piring yang beradu dengan sendok garpu.Kalau hari libur, dia lebih sering hanya tiduran dikamar, atau main dengan anak2 kami, dia jarang sekali tertawa lepas. Karena dia sangat pendiam, aku menyangka dia memang tidak suka tertawa lepas.

Aku mengira rumah tangga kami baik2 saja selama 8 tahun pernikahan kami. Sampai suatu ketika, disuatu hari yang terik, saat itu suamiku tergolek sakit dirumah sakit, karena jarang makan, dan sering jajan di kantornya, dibanding makan dirumah, dia kena typhoid, dan harus dirawat di RS, karena sampai terjadi perforasi di ususnya.

Pada saat dia masih di ICU, seorang perempuan datang menjenguknya. Dia memperkenalkan diri, bernama meisha, temannya Mario saat dulu kuliah.Meisha tidak secantik aku, dia begitu sederhana, tapi aku tidak pernah melihat mata yang begitu cantik seperti yang dia miliki. Matanya bersinar indah, penuh kehangatan dan penuh cinta, ketika dia berbicara, seakan2 waktu berhenti berputar dan terpana dengan kalimat2nya yang ringan dan penuh pesona. Setiap orang, laki2 maupun perempuan bahkan mungkin serangga yang lewat, akan jatuh cinta begitu mendengar dia bercerita.Meisha tidak pernah kenal dekat dengan Mario selama mereka kuliah dulu, Meisha bercerita Mario sangat pendiam, sehingga jarang punya teman yang akrab. 5 bulan lalu mereka bertemu, karena ada pekerjaan kantor mereka yang mempertemukan mereka. Meisha yang bekerja di advertising akhirnya bertemu dengan Mario yang sedang membuat iklan untuk perusahaan tempatnya bekerja.Aku mulai mengingat2 5 bulan lalu ada perubahan yang cukup drastis pada Mario, setiap mau pergi kerja, dia tersenyum manis padaku, dan dalam sehari bisa menciumku lebih dari 3x. Dia membelikan aku parfum baru, dan mulai sering tertawa lepas. Tapi disaat lain, dia sering termenung didepan komputernya. Atau termenung memegang Hp-nya. Kalau aku tanya, dia bilang, ada pekerjaan yang membingungkan.

Suatu saat Meisha pernah datang pada saat Mario sakit dan masih dirawat di RS. Aku sedang memegang sepiring nasi beserta lauknya dengan wajah kesal, karena Mario tidak juga mau aku suapi. Meisha masuk kamar, dan menyapa dengan suara riangnya," Hai Rima, kenapa dengan anak sulungmu yang nomor satu ini ? tidak mau makan juga? uhh… dasar anak nakal, sini piringnya, " lalu dia terus mengajak Mario bercerita sambil menyuapi Mario, tiba2 saja sepiring nasi itu sudah habis ditangannya. Dan….aku tidak pernah melihat tatapan penuh cinta yang terpancar dari mata suamiku, seperti siang itu, tidak pernah seumur hidupku yang aku lalui bersamanya, tidak pernah sedetikpun !Hatiku terasa sakit, lebih sakit dari ketika dia membalikkan tubuhnya membelakangi aku saat aku memeluknya dan berharap dia mencumbuku. Lebih sakit dari rasa sakit setelah operasi caesar ketika aku melahirkan anaknya. Lebih sakit dari rasa sakit, ketika dia tidak mau memakan masakan yang aku buat dengan susah payah. Lebih sakit daripada sakit ketika dia tidak pulang kerumah saat ulang tahun perkawinan kami kemarin. Lebih sakit dari rasa sakit ketika dia lebih suka mencumbu komputernya dibanding aku.Tapi aku tidak pernah bisa marah setiap melihat perempuan itu. Meisha begitu manis, dia bisa hadir tiba2, membawakan donat buat anak2, dan membawakan ekrol kesukaanku. Dia mengajakku jalan2, kadang mengajakku nonton. kali lain, dia datang bersama suami dan ke-2 anaknya yang lucu2.Aku tidak pernah bertanya, apakah suamiku mencintai perempuan berhati bidadari itu? karena tanpa bertanya pun aku sudah tahu, apa yang bergejolak dihatinya.

Suatu sore, mendung begitu menyelimuti jakarta, aku tidak pernah menyangka, hatikupun akan mendung, bahkan gerimis kemudian.Anak sulungku, seorang anak perempuan cantik berusia 7 tahun, rambutnya keriting ikal dan cerdasnya sama seperti ayahnya. Dia berhasil membuka password email Papa nya, dan memanggilku, " Mama, mau lihat surat papa buat tante Meisha ?"Aku tertegun memandangnya, dan membaca surat elektronik itu, Dear Meisha,Kehadiranmu bagai beribu bintang gemerlap yang mengisi seluruh relung hatiku, aku tidak pernah merasakan jatuh cinta seperti ini, bahkan pada Rima. Aku mencintai Rima karena kondisi yang mengharuskan aku mencintainya, karena dia ibu dari anak2ku.Ketika aku menikahinya, aku tetap tidak tahu apakah aku sungguh2 mencintainya. Tidak ada perasaan bergetar seperti ketika aku memandangmu, tidak ada perasaan rindu yang tidak pernah padam ketika aku tidak menjumpainya. Aku hanya tidak ingin menyakiti perasaannya. Ketika konflik2 terjadi saat kami pacaran dulu, aku sebenarnya kecewa, tapi aku tidak sanggup mengatakan padanya bahwa dia bukanlah perempuan yang aku cari untuk mengisi kekosongan hatiku. Hatiku tetap terasa hampa, meskipun aku menikahinya.Aku tidak tahu, bagaimana caranya menumbuhkan cinta untuknya, seperti ketika cinta untukmu tumbuh secara alami, seperti pohon2 beringin yang tumbuh kokoh tanpa pernah mendapat siraman dari pemiliknya. Seperti pepohonan di hutan2 belantara yang tidak pernah minta disirami, namun tumbuh dengan lebat secara alami. Itu yang aku rasakan.Aku tidak akan pernah bisa memilikimu, karena kau sudah menjadi milik orang lain dan aku adalah laki2 yang sangat memegang komitmen pernikahan kami.

Meskipun hatiku terasa hampa, itu tidaklah mengapa, asal aku bisa melihat Rima bahagia dan tertawa, dia bisa mendapatkan segala yang dia inginkan selama aku mampu. Dia boleh mendapatkan seluruh hartaku dan tubuhku, tapi tidak jiwaku dan cintaku, yang hanya aku berikan untukmu. Meskipun ada tembok yang menghalangi kita, aku hanya berharap bahwa engkau mengerti, you are the only one in my heart.yours, MarioMataku terasa panas. Jelita, anak sulungku memelukku erat. Meskipun baru berusia 7 tahun, dia adalah malaikat jelitaku yang sangat mengerti dan menyayangiku. Suamiku tidak pernah mencintaiku. Dia tidak pernah bahagia bersamaku.

Dia mencintai perempuan lain.Aku mengumpulkan kekuatanku. Sejak itu, aku menulis surat hampir setiap hari untuk suamiku. Surat itu aku simpan diamplop, dan aku letakkan di lemari bajuku, tidak pernah aku berikan untuknya.Mobil yang dia berikan untukku aku kembalikan padanya. Aku mengumpulkan tabunganku yang kusimpan dari sisa2 uang belanja, lalu aku belikan motor untuk mengantar dan menjemput anak2ku. Mario merasa heran, karena aku tidak pernah lagi bermanja dan minta dibelikan bermacam2 merek tas dan baju. Aku terpuruk dalam kehancuranku. Aku dulu memintanya menikahiku karena aku malu terlalu lama pacaran, sedangkan teman2ku sudah menikah semua. Ternyata dia memang tidak pernah menginginkan aku menjadi istrinya.Betapa tidak berharganya aku. Tidakkah dia tahu, bahwa aku juga seorang perempuan yang berhak mendapatkan kasih sayang dari suaminya ? Kenapa dia tidak mengatakan saja, bahwa dia tidak mencintai aku dan tidak menginginkan aku ? itu lebih aku hargai daripada dia cuma diam dan mengangguk dan melamarku lalu menikahiku. Betapa malangnya nasibku.

Mario terus menerus sakit2an, dan aku tetap merawatnya dengan setia. Biarlah dia mencintai perempuan itu terus didalam hatinya. Dengan pura2 tidak tahu, aku sudah membuatnya bahagia dengan mencintai perempuan itu. Kebahagiaan Mario adalah kebahagiaanku juga, karena aku akan selalu mencintainya. **********Setahun kemudian…Meisha membuka amplop surat2 itu dengan air mata berlinang. Tanah pemakaman itu masih basah merah dan masih dipenuhi bunga." Mario, suamiku…. Aku tidak pernah menyangka pertemuan kita saat aku pertama kali bekerja dikantormu, akan membawaku pada cinta sejatiku. Aku begitu terpesona padamu yang pendiam dan tampak dingin. Betapa senangnya aku ketika aku tidak bertepuk sebelah tangan. Aku mencintaimu, dan begitu posesif ingin memilikimu seutuhnya. Aku sering marah, ketika kamu asyik bekerja, dan tidak memperdulikan aku. Aku merasa diatas angin, ketika kamu hanya diam dan menuruti keinginanku… Aku pikir, aku si puteri cantik yang diinginkan banyak pria, telah memenuhi ruang hatimu dan kamu terlalu mencintaiku sehingga mau melakukan apa saja untukku…..

Ternyata aku keliru…. aku menyadarinya tepat sehari setelah pernikahan kita. Ketika aku membanting hadiah jam tangan dari seorang teman kantor dulu yang aku tahu sebenarnya menyukai Mario.Aku melihat matamu begitu terluka, ketika berkata, " kenapa, Rima ? Kenapa kamu mesti cemburu ? dia sudah menikah, dan aku sudah memilihmu menjadi istriku ?"Aku tidak perduli,dan berlalu dari hadapanmu dengan sombongnya.Sekarang aku menyesal, memintamu melamarku. Engkau tidak pernah bahagia bersamaku. Aku adalah hal terburuk dalam kehidupan cintamu. Aku bukanlah wanita yang sempurna yang engkau inginkan. Istrimu,Rima" Di surat yang lain,"………Kehadiran perempuan itu membuatmu berubah, engkau tidak lagi sedingin es. Engkau mulai terasa hangat, namun tetap saja aku tidak pernah melihat cahaya cinta dari matamu untukku, seperti aku melihat cahaya yang penuh cinta itu berpendar dari kedua bola matamu saat memandang Meisha……"

Disurat yang kesekian,"…….Aku bersumpah, akan membuatmu jatuh cinta padaku. Aku telah berubah, Mario. Engkau lihat kan, aku tidak lagi marah2 padamu, aku tidak lagi suka membanting2 barang dan berteriak jika emosi. Aku belajar masak, dan selalu kubuatkan masakan yang engkau sukai. Aku tidak lagi boros, dan selalau menabung. Aku tidak lagi suka bertengkar dengan ibumu. Aku selalu tersenyum menyambutmu pulang kerumah. Dan aku selalu meneleponmu, untuk menanyakan sudahkah kekasih hatiku makan siang ini? Aku merawatmu jika engkau sakit, aku tidak kesal saat engkau tidak mau aku suapi, aku menungguimu sampai tertidur disamping tempat tidurmu, dirumah sakit saat engkau dirawat, karena penyakit pencernaanmu yang selalu bermasalah……. Meskipun belum terbit juga, sinar cinta itu dari matamu, aku akan tetap berusaha dan menantinya…….." Meisha menghapus air mata yang terus mengalir dari kedua mata indahnya… dipeluknya Jelita yang tersedu-sedu disampingnya.Disurat terakhir, pagi ini… "…………..

Hari iniadalah hari ulang tahun pernikahan kami yang ke-9. Tahun lalu engkau tidak pulang kerumah, tapi tahun ini aku akan memaksamu pulang, karena hari ini aku akan masak, masakan yang paling enak sedunia. Kemarin aku belajar membuatnya dirumah Bude Tati, sampai kehujanan dan basah kuyup, karena waktu pulang hujannya deras sekali, dan aku hanya mengendarai motor. Saat aku tiba dirumah kemarin malam, aku melihat sinar kekhawatiran dimatamu. Engkau memelukku, dan menyuruhku segera ganti baju supaya tidak sakit. Tahukah engkau suamiku, Selama hampir 15 tahun aku mengenalmu, 6 tahun kita pacaran, dan hampir 9 tahun kita menikah, baru kali ini aku melihat sinar kekhawatiran itu dari matamu, inikah tanda2 cinta mulai bersemi dihatimu ?………"

Jelita menatap Meisha, dan bercerita, " Siang itu Mama menjemputku dengan motornya, dari jauh aku melihat keceriaan diwajah mama, dia terus melambai-lambaikan tangannya kepadaku. Aku tidak pernah melihat wajah yang sangat bersinar dari mama seperti siang itu, dia begitu cantik. Meskipun dulu sering marah2 kepadaku, tapi aku selalu menyayanginya. Mama memarkir motornya diseberang jalan, Ketika mama menyeberang jalan, tiba2 mobil itu lewat dari tikungan dengan kecepatan tinggi…… aku tidak sanggup melihatnya terlontar, Tante….. aku melihatnya masih memandangku sebelum dia tidak lagi bergerak……" Jelita memeluk Meisha dan terisak-isak. Bocah cantik ini masih terlalu kecil untuk merasakan sakit di hatinya, tapi dia sangat dewasa.

Meisha mengeluarkan selembar kertas yang dia print tadi pagi. Mario mengirimkan email lagi kemarin malam, dan tadinya aku ingin Rima membacanya. Dear Meisha, Selama setahun ini aku mulai merasakan Rima berbeda, dia tidak lagi marah2 dan selalu berusaha menyenangkan hatiku. Dan tadi, dia pulang dengan tubuh basah kuyup karena kehujanan, aku sangat khawatir dan memeluknya. Tiba2 aku baru menyadari betapa beruntungnya aku memiliki dia. Hatiku mulai bergetar…. Inikah tanda2 aku mulai mencintainya ?

Aku terus berusaha mencintainya seperti yang engkau sarankan, Meisha. Dan besok aku akan memberikan surprise untuknya, aku akan membelikan mobil mungil untuknya, supaya dia tidak lagi naik motor kemana-mana. Bukan karena dia ibu dari anak2ku, tapi karena dia belahan jiwaku…. Meisha menatap Mario yang tampak semakin ringkih, yang masih terduduk disamping nisan Rima. Diwajahnya tampak duka yang dalam. Semuanya telah terjadi, Mario.

Kadang kita baru menyadari mencintai seseorang, ketika seseorang itu telah pergi meninggalkan kita.

Jakarta, 7 Januari 2009 (dedicated to my friend....may you rest in peace...) --

Yesterday is a history.Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift.That's why it's called "present".

Leadership - Organizational Behavior

Leadership - Organizational Behavior

Introduction
Organizational Behavior is the study and application of knowledge about how people, individuals, and groups act in organizations. It does this by taking a system approach. That is, it interprets people-organization relationships in terms of the whole person, whole group, whole organization, and whole social system. Its purpose is to build better relationships by achieving human objectives, organizational objectives, and social objectives.
As you can see from the definition above, organizational behavior encompasses a wide range of topics, such as human behavior, change, leadership, teams, etc. Since these many of these topics are discussed in other sections of this leadership guide, this section will not go into topics previously discussed.

Elements of Organizational Behavior
The organization's base rests on management's philosophy, values, vision and goals. This in turn drives the organizational culture which is composed of the formal organization, informal organization, and the social environment. The culture determines the type of leadership, communication, and group dynamics within the organization. The workers perceive this as the quality of work life which directs their degree of motivation. The final outcome are performance, individual satisfaction, and personal growth and development. All these elements combine to build the model or framework that the organization operates from.


Models of Organizational Behavior
There are four major models or frameworks that organizations operate out of:

1. Autocratic - The basis of this model is power with a managerial orientation of authority. The employees in turn are oriented towards obedience and dependence on the boss. The employee need that is met is subsistence. The performance result is minimal.



2. Custodial - The basis of this model is economic resources with a managerial orientation of money. The employees in turn are oriented towards security and benefits and dependence on the organization. The employee need that is met is security. The performance result is passive cooperation.



3. Supportive - The basis of this model is leadership with a managerial orientation of support. The employees in turn are oriented towards job performance and participation. The employee need that is met is status and recognition. The performance result is awakened drives.



4. Collegial - The basis of this model is partnership with a managerial orientation of teamwork. The employees in turn are oriented towards responsible behavior and self-discipline. The employee need that is met is self-actualization. The performance result is moderate enthusiasm.
   

Although there are four separate models, almost no organization operates exclusively in one. There will usually be a predominate one, with one or more areas over-lapping in the other models.

The first model, autocratic, had its roots in the industrial revolution. The managers of this type of organization operate out of McGregor's Theory X. The next three models begin to build on McGregor's Theory Y. They have each evolved over a period of time and there is no one "best" model. The collegial model should not be thought as the last or best model, but the beginning of a new model or paradigm.

Social Systems, Culture, and Individualization
A social system is a complex set of human relationships interacting in many ways. Within an organization, the social system includes all the people in it and their relationships to each other and to the outside world. The behavior of one member can have an impact, either directly or indirectly, on the behavior of others. Also, the social system does not have boundaries...it exchanges goods, ideas, culture, etc. with the environment around it.

Culture is the conventional behavior of a society that encompasses beliefs, customs, knowledge, and practices. It influences human behavior, even though it seldom enters into their conscious thought. People depend on culture as it gives them stability, security, understanding, and the ability to respond to a given situation. This is why people fear change. They fear the system will become unstable, their security will be lost, they will not understand the new process, and they will not know how to respond to the new situations.

The chart above shows how individualization affects different organizations:

Too little socialization and too little individualization creates isolation.
Too high socialization and too little individualization creates conformity.
Too little socialization and too high individualization creates rebellion
While the match that organizations want to create is high socialization and high individualization for a creative environment. This is what it takes to survive in a very competitive environment...having people grow with the organization, but doing the right thing when others want to follow the easy path

This can become quite a balancing act. Individualism favors individual rights, loosely knit social networks, self respect, and personal rewards and careers. It becomes look out for number 1! Socialization or collectivism favors the group, harmony, and asks "What is best for the organization?" Organizations need people to challenge, question, and experiment while still maintaining the culture that binds them into a social system.

Organization Development
Organization Development (OD) is the systematic application of behavioral science knowledge at various levels, such as group, inter-group, organization, etc., to bring about planned change. Its objectives is a higher quality of work-life, productivity, adaptability, and effectiveness. It accomplishes this by changing attitudes, behaviors, values, strategies, procedures, and structures so that the organization can adapt to competitive actions, technological advances, and the fast pace of change within the environment.

There are seven characteristics of OD:

1. Humanistic Values: Positive beliefs about the potential of employees (McGregor's Theory Y).
   
2. Systems Orientation: All parts of the organization, to include structure, technology, and people, must work together
   
3. Experiential Learning: The learners' experiences in the training environment should be the kind of human problems they encounter at work. The training should NOT be all theory and lecture
   
4. Problem Solving: Problems are identified, data is gathered, corrective action is taken, progress is assessed, and adjustments in the problem solving process are made as needed. This process is known as Action Research


5. Contingency Orientation: Actions are selected and adapted to fit the need.


6. Change Agent: Stimulate, facilitate, and coordinate change


7. Levels of Interventions: Problems can occur at one or more level in the organization so the strategy will require one or more interventions
   

Quality of Work Life (QWL)
Quality of Work Life is the favorableness or unfavorableness of the job environment. Its purpose is to develop jobs and working conditions that are excellent for both the employees and the organization. One of the ways of accomplishing QWL is through job design. Some of the options available for improving job design are:

• Leave the job as is but employ only people who like the rigid environment or routine work. Some people do enjoy the security and task support of these kinds of jobs


• Leave the job as is, but pay the employees more


• Mechanize and automate the routine jobs. Let robots handle it


• And the area that OD loves - redesign the job
  

When redesigning jobs there are two spectrums to follow - job enlargement and job enrichment. Job enlargement adds a more variety of tasks and duties to the job so that it is not as monotonous. This takes in the breadth of the job. That is, the number of different tasks that an employee performs. This can also be accomplished by job rotation.

Job enrichment, on the other hand, adds additional motivators. It adds depth to the job - more control, responsibility, and discretion to how the job is performed. This gives higher order needs to the employee, as opposed to job enlargement which simply gives more variety. The chart below illustrates the differences: The benefits of enriching jobs include:

• Growth of the individual
• Individuals have better job satisfaction
• Self-actualization of the individual
• Better employee performance for the organization
• Organization gets intrinsically motivated employees
• Less absenteeism, turnover, and grievances for the organization
• Full use of human resources for society
• Society gains more effective organizations

Communication

Communication

No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Introduction
Many of the problems that occur in a organization are the direct result of people failing to communicate. Faulty communication causes the most problems. It leads to confusion and can cause a good plan to fail. Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another. It involves a sender transmitting an idea to a receiver. Effective communication occurs only if the receiver understands the exact information or idea that the sender intended to transmit.

Studying the communication process is important because you coach, coordinate, counsel, evaluate, and supervise through this process. It is the chain of understanding that integrates the members of an organization from top to bottom, bottom to top, and side to side.

What is involved in the communication process?

• Idea First, information exists in the mind of the sender. This canbe a concept, idea, information, or feelings.
  

• Encodes Next, a message is sent to a receiver in words or other symbols.
  

• Decoding The receiver then translates the words or symbols into a concept or information

  
  

During the transmitting of the message, two processes will be received by the receiver. Content and context. Content is the actual words or symbols of the message which is known as language - spoken and written words combined into phrases that make grammatical and semantic sense. We all use and interpret the meanings of words differently, so even simple messages can be misunderstood. And many words have different meanings to confuse the issue even more.

Context is the way the message is delivered and is known as Paralanguage - tone of voice, the look in the sender's eye's, body language, hand gestures, state of emotion (anger, fear, uncertainty, confidence, etc.). Paralanguage causes messages to be misunderstood as we believe what we see more than what we hear; we trust the accuracy of nonverbal behaviors more than verbal behaviors.

Many leaders think they have communicated once they told someone to do something, "I don't know why it did not get done...I told Jim to it." More than likely, Jim misunderstood the message. A message has NOT been communicated unless it is understood by the receiver. How do you know it has been properly received? By two-way communication or feedback. This feedback will tell the sender that the receiver understood the message, its level of importance, and what must be done with it. Communication is an exchange, not just a give, as all parties must participate to complete the information exchange.

Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood. - Jr. Teague Barriers to Communication Anything that prevents understanding of the message is a barrier to communication. Many physical and psychological barriers exist.

Culture, background, and bias - We allow our past experiences to change the meaning of the message. Our culture, background, and bias can be good as they allow us use our past experiences to understand something new, it is when they change the meaning of the message then they interfere with the communication process.

Noise - Equipment or environmental noise impede clear communication.The sender and the receiver must both be able to concentrate on the messages being sent to each other.

Ourselves - Focusing on ourselves, rather than the other person can lead to confusion and conflict. The "Me Generation" is out when it comes to effective communication. Some of the factors that cause this are defensiveness (we feel someone is attacking us), superiority (we feel we know more that the other), and ego (we feel we are the center of the activity).

Perception - If we feel the person is talking too fast, not fluently, does not articulate clearly, etc., we may dismiss the person. Also our preconceived attitudes affect our ability to listen. We listen uncritically to persons of high status and dismiss those of low status.

Message - Distractions happen when we focus on the facts rather than the idea. Our educational institutions reinforce this with tests and questions. Semantic distractions occur when a word is used differently than you prefer. For example, the word chairman instead of chairperson, may cause you to focus on the word and not the message.

Environmental - Bright lights, an attractive person, unusual sights, or any other stimulus provides a potential distraction.

Smothering - We take it for granted that the impulse to send useful information is automatic. Not true! Too often we believe that certain information has no value to others or they are already aware of the facts.

Stress - People do not see things the same way when under stress. What we see and believe at a given moment is influenced by our psychological frames of references - our beliefs, values, knowledge, experiences, and goals.


These barriers can be thought of as filters, that is, the message leaves the sender, goes through the above filters, and is then heard by the receiver. These filters muffle the message. And the way to overcome filters is through active listening and feedback.

Listening can be our most powerful communication tool! Be sure to use it!

Active Listening
Hearing and listening are not the same thing. Hearing is the act of perceiving sound. It is involuntary and simply refers to the reception of aural stimuli. Listening is a selective activity which involves the reception and the interpretation of aural stimuli. It involves decoding the sound into meaning.
Listening is divided into two main categories: passive and active. Passive listening is little more that hearing. It occurs when the receiver or the message has little motivation to listen carefully, such as music, story telling, television, or being polite.

People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute, but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 words per minute (WPM). Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone. The cure for this is active listening - which involves listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc. It requires that the listener attends to the words and the feelings of the sender for understanding. It takes the same amount or more energy than speaking. It requires the receiver to hear the various messages, understand the meaning, and then verify the meaning by offering feedback. The following are a few traits of active listeners:

• Spends more time listening than talking.
  

• Does not finish the sentence of others.
  

• Does not answer questions with questions.
  

• Are aware of biases. We all have them...we need to control them.
  

• Never daydreams or become preoccupied with their own thoughts when others talk.
  

• Lets the other speaker talk. Does not dominate the conversation.
  

• Plans responses after the other person has finished speaking...NOT while they are speaking.
  

• Provides feedback, but does not interrupt incessantly.
  

• Analyzes by looking at all the relevant factors and asking open-ended questions. Walks the person through your analysis (summarize).
  

• Keeps the conversation on what the speaker says...NOT on what interests them.
  

• Takes brief notes. This forces them to concentrate on what is being said. "When you know something, say what you know. When you don't know something, say that you don't know. That is knowledge." - Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius) Feedback.
  
  

The purpose of feedback is to change and alter messages so the intention of the original communicator is understood by the second communicator. It includes verbal and nonverbal responses to another person's message.

Providing feedback is accomplished by paraphrasing the words of the sender. Restate the sender's feelings or ideas in your own words, rather than repeating their words. Your words should be saying, "This is what I understand your feelings to be, am I correct?" It not only includes verbal responses, but also nonverbal ones. Nodding your head or squeezing their hand to show agreement, dipping your eyebrows shows you don't quite understand the meaning of their last phrase, or sucking air in deeply and blowing it hard shows that you are also exasperated with the situation.

Carl Roger listed five main categories of feedback. They are listed in the order in which they occur most frequently in daily conversations. Notice that we make judgments more often than we try to understand:

Evaluative: Making a judgment about the worth, goodness, or appropriateness of the other person's statement.

Interpretive: Paraphrasing - attempting to explain what the other person's statement means.

Supportive: Attempting to assist or bolster the other communicator.

Probing: Attempting to gain additional information, continue the discussion, or clarify a point.

Understanding: Attempting to discover completely what the other communicator means by her statements.

Imagine how much better daily communications would be if listeners tried to understand first, before they tried to evaluate what someone is saying. "Without knowing the force of words it is impossible to know men." – Confucius

Nonverbal Behaviors of Communication To deliver the full impact of a message, use nonverbal behaviors to raise the channel of interpersonal communication:

• Eye contact: This helps to regulate the flow of communication. It signals interest in others and increases the speaker's credibility. People who make eye contact open the flow of communication and convey interest, concern, warmth, and credibility.
  

• Facial Expressions: Smiling is a powerful cue that transmits happiness, friendliness, warmth, and liking. So, if you smile frequently you will be perceived as more likable, friendly, warm and approachable. Smiling is often contagious and people will react favorably. They will be more comfortable around you and will want to listen more.
  

• Gestures: If you fail to gesture while speaking you may be perceived as boring and stiff. A lively speaking style captures the listener's attention, makes the conversation more interesting, and facilitates understanding.
  

• Posture and body orientation: You communicate numerous messages by the way you talk and move. Standing erect and leaning forward communicates to listeners that you are approachable, receptive and friendly. Interpersonal closeness results when you and the listener face each other. Speaking with your back turned or looking at the floor or ceiling should be avoided as it communicates disinterest.
  

• Proximity: Cultural norms dictate a comfortable distance for interaction with others. You should look for signals of discomfort caused by invading the other person's space. Some of these are: rocking, leg swinging, tapping, and gaze aversion.
  

• Vocal: Speaking can signal nonverbal communication when you include such vocal elements as: tone, pitch, rhythm, timbre, loudness, and inflection. For maximum teaching effectiveness, learn to vary these six elements of your voice. One of the major criticisms of many speakers is that they speak in a monotone voice. Listeners perceive this type of speaker as boring and dull.
  

"Speak comfortable words!" - William Shakespeare

Speaking Hints

When speaking or trying to explain something, ask the listeners if they are following you.

Ensure the receiver has a chance to comment or ask questions.

Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes - Consider the feelings of the receiver.

Be clear about what you say.

Look at the audience

Make sure your words match your tone and body language (Nonverbal Behaviors).

Vary your tone and pace.

Do not be vague, but on the other hand, Do not complicate what you are saying with too much detail.

Do not ignore signs of confusion.

Leadership and Behavior

Leadership - Human Behavior


Introduction
As a leader, you need to interact with followers, peers, seniors, and other people whose support you need to accomplish your objectives. To gain their support, you must be able to understand and motivate them. To understand and motivate people, you must know human nature. Human nature is the common qualities of all human beings. People behave according to certain principles of human nature. These principles govern our behavior.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Human needs are an important part of human nature. Values, beliefs, and customs differ from country to country and group to group, but all people have similar needs. As a leader you must understand these needs because they are powerful motivators.

Abraham Maslow felt that the basic human needs were arranged in a hierarchical order. He based his theory on healthy, creative people who used all their talents, potential, and capabilities. At the time, this methodology differed from most psychology research studies which were based on the observation of disturbed people.

There are two major groups of human needs: basic needs and Meta needs.
Basic needs are physiological, such as food, water, and sleep; and psychological, such as affection, security, and self esteem. These basic needs are also called deficiency needs because if they are not met by an individual, then that person will strive to make up the deficiency.

The higher needs are called meta needs or growth needs. These include justice, goodness, beauty, order, unity, etc. Basic needs take priority over these growth needs. People who lack food or water cannot attend to justice or beauty.
These needs are listed below in hierarchical order. The needs on the bottom of the list (1 to 4) must be met before the needs above it can be met. The top four needs (5 to 8), can be pursued in any order depending on a person's wants or circumstance, as long as all the other needs (1 to 4) have all been met.

Figure 1
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
8. Self-transcendence – a transegoic level that emphasizes visionary intuition,
altruism and unity consciousness.
7. Self-actualization – to know exactly who you are, where you are going and what
you want to accomplish. A state of weel being.
6. Aesthetic - at peace, more curious about inner workings of all.
5. Cognitive - learning for learning alone, contribute knowledge.
4. Esteem - feeling of moving up in world, recognition, few doubts about self.
3. Belongingness and love - belong to a group, close friends to confine with.
2. Safety - feel free from immediate danger.
1. Physiology – food, water, shelter

Maslow posited that people want and are forever striving to meet various goals. Because the lower level needs are more immediate and urgent, if they are nor satisfied, they come into play as the source and direction of a person's goal.
A need higher in the hierarchy will become a motive of behavior as long as the needs below it have been satisfied. Unsatisfied lower needs will dominate unsatisfied higher needs and must be satisfied before the person can climb up the hierarchy.
Knowing where a person is located on this scale aids in determining an effective motivator. For example, motivating a middle-class person (who is in range 4 of the hierarchy) with a certificate will have a far greater impact than using the same motivator to motivate a minimum wage person from the ghettos who is struggling to meet needs 1 and 2.

It should be noted that almost no one stays in one particular hierarchy for an extended period. We constantly strive to move up, while at the same time forces outside our control try to push us down. Those on top get pushed down for short time periods, i.e., death of a loved-one or an idea that does not work. Those on the bottom get pushed up, i.e., come across a small prize or receive a better paying job. Our goal as leaders, is to help our people obtain the skills and knowledge that will push them up the hierarchy permanently. People who have their basic needs met become much better workers. There are able to concentrate on fulfilling the visions put forth to them, instead of consistently worrying about how to make ends meet.
Characteristics of self-actualizing people:
1. Have better perceptions of reality and are comfortable with it.
2. Accept themselves and their own natures.
3. They lack artificiality
4. They focus on problems outside themselves and are concerned with basic issues and
eternal questions.
5. They like privacy and tend to be detached.
6. Rely on their own development and continued growth.
7. Appreciate the basic pleasures of life (do not take blessings for granted).
8. Have a deep feeling of kinship with others.
9. Are deeply democratic and are not really aware of differences.
10. Have strong ethical and moral standards.
11. Are original and inventive, less constricted and fresher than others

NOTE: Transegoic means a higher, psychic, or spiritual state of development. The trans is related to transcendence, while the ego is of course, based upon Freud's work. We go from preEGOic levels to EGOic levels to transEGOic. The EGO in all three terms are used in the Jungian sense of consciousness as opposed to the unconscious. Ego equates with the personality.

In Maslow's model, the ultimate goal of life is self-actualization, which is almost never fully attained but rather is something to always strive towards. Peak experiences are temporary self-actualizations. Maslow later theorized that this level does not stop, it goes on to self-transcendence, which carries us to the spiritual level, e.g.. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Dalai Lamao, or even poets such as Robert Frost. Maslow's self-transcendence level recognizes the human need for ethics, creativity, compassion and spirituality. Without this spiritual or transegoic sense, we are simply animals or machines.

I believe that just as there are peak experiences for temporary self-actualizations; there are also peak experiences for self-transcendence. These are our spiritual creative moments.

Herzberg's Hygiene and Motivational Factors
Herzberg developed a list of factors which are closely based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, except it more closely related to work:

HERZBERG'S HYGIENE & MOTIVATIONAL FACTORS
Hygiene or Dissatisfies:
1. Working conditions
2. Policies and administrative practices
3. Salary and Benefits
4. Supervision
5. Status
6. Job security
7. Fellow workers
8. Personal life

Motivators or Satisfiers:

1. Recognition
2. Achievement
3. Advancement
4. Growth
5. Responsibility
6. Job challenge

Hygiene factors must be present in the job before motivators can be used to stimulate that person. That is, you cannot use Motivators until all the Hygiene factors are met. Herzberg's needs are specifically job related and reflect some of the distinct things that people want from their work as opposed to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs which reflect all the needs in a persons life.
Building on this model, Herzberg coined the term "job enrichment" to describe the process of redesigning work in order to build in Motivators.


Theory X and Theory Y
Douglas McGreagor developed a philosophical view of humankind with his Theory X and Theory Y. These are two opposing perceptions about how people view human behavior at work and organizational life.
Theory X:
1 People have an inherent dislike for work and will avoid it whenever possible.
2 People must be coerced, controlled, directed, or threatened with punishment in
order to get them to achieve the organizational objectives.
3 People prefer to be directed, do not want responsibility, and have little or no
ambition.
4 People seek security above all else.

With Theory X assumptions, management's role is to coerce and control employees.

Theory Y:
1 Work is as natural as play and rest.
2 People will exercise self-direction if they are committed to the objectives (they
are NOT lazy).
3 Commitment to objectives is a function of the rewards associated with their
achievement.
4 People learn to accept and seek responsibility.
5 Creativity, ingenuity, and imagination are widely distributed among the
population. People are capable of using these abilities to solve an organizational
problem.
6 People have potential.

With Theory Y assumptions, management's role is to develop the potential in employees and help them to release that potential towards common goals.
Theory X is the view that traditional management has taken towards the workforce. Many organizations are now taking the enlightened view of theory Y. A boss can be viewed as taking the theory X approach, while a leader takes the theory Y approach. Notice that Maslow, Herzberg, and McGreagor's theories all tie together:
Herzberg's theory is a micro version of Maslow's theory (concentrated in the work place).

McGreagor's Theory X is based on workers caught in the lower levels (1 to 3) of Maslow's theory while his Theory Y is for workers who have gone above level 3.
McGreagor's Theory X is based on workers caught in Herberg's Hygiene or Dissatisfiers, while Theory Y is based on workers who are in the Motivators or Satisfiers section.

Keirsey Temperament Sorter
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
- Frank Outlaw

David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates based their work on the Myers-Briggs-Type-Indicator (MBTI - which is based on the work of Carl Jung. There are four temperaments or characters that our personality is based on. Although we have the capacity for all four temperaments, we typically develop a basic attitude or predisposition for one of them. They are described with the names of Greek gods of mythology, with whom they share preferences and behaviors:

Dionysian (Artisan) - This temperament seeks freedom, values spontaneity, and resists being constrained or obligated. They do things because the process of doing them is pleasing, regardless of the goal or outcome. They are action driven, here-and-now, and thrive on situations requiring immediate response. They are optimists who are not easily controlled. They are the ultimate troubleshooters and negotiators. They tend to dislike bosses, policies, and procedures.

Epithean (Guardian) - People with this temperament have strong affiliation needs, a sense of duty, are keepers of traditions, get satisfaction from giving, and have strong work ethics. They want recognition and appreciation for they believe is merited, but will not request it. They are pessimists who elicits conformity to group norms. They like making clear cut decisions and will follow established organizational protocol without question.

Promethian (Rationalist) - This type of person understands, predicts, explains and harness phenomena. They value competence in themselves and others, thrive on challenges, and strive to control situations. They are the most self-critical of all and consistently set higher goals of perfection. They are almost never satisfied with accomplishments and are embarrassed by praise. They are imaginative, analytical, and like to build systems for the future. They will create sweeping changes if they see the need.

Apollonian (Idealist) - An Apollonian sets extraordinary goals, even transcendent, that hard for them to even explain. They strive to "be real" and are always in the process of "becoming." Work, relationships, efforts, and goals must be imbued with "meaning. "They are hard workers, if the cause is deemed worthwhile, and are tireless in pursuit of a cause. Can be a gadfly in pursuing one goal after another. They prefer the big picture over details, are centered on people and relationships, and would rather focus on ideas than tasks.

Leaders need all four types of temperaments on their team to make it well rounded. All to often, leaders tend to choose people with their same type of personality, or their favorite. But this makes a team weak, in that it cannot approach problems and implementations from all sides of the spectrum. Balance your team and choose people from all walks of life.

Existence/Relatedness/Growth (ERG)
Clayton Alderfer, in his Existence/Relatedness/Growth (ERG) Theory of Needs, theorized that there are three groups of needs:

• Existence - This group of needs is concerned with providing the basic requirements for material existence, such as physiological and safety needs. This need is satisfied by money earned in a job to buy food, home, clothing, etc.
• Relationships - This group of needs centers on or is built upon the desire to establish and maintain interpersonal relationships. Since one usually spends approximately half of one's waking hours on the job, this need is normally satisfied at least to some degree by one's coworkers.
• Growth - These needs are met by personal development. A person's job, career, or profession provides for significant satisfaction of growth needs.

Alderfer's ERG theory also states that more than one need may be influential at the same time. If the gratification of a higher-level need is frustrated, the desire to satisfy a lower-level need will increase. He identifies this phenomenon as the "frustration­paggression dimension." Its relevance on the job is that even when the upper-level needs are frustrated, the job still provides for the basic physiological needs upon which one would then be focused. If, at that point, something happens to threaten the job, the person's basic needs are significantly threatened. If there are not factors present to relieve the pressure, the person may become desperate and panicky.

Expectancy Theory
Vroom's Expectancy Theory states that an individual will act in a certain way based on the expectation that the act will be followed by a given outcome and on the attractiveness of that outcome to the individual. This motivational model has been modified by several people, to include Porter and Lawler:

Valence X Expectancy X Instrumentality = Motivation:
• Valence (Reward) = Is the amount of desire for a goal. (What is the reward?)
• Expectancy (Performance) = Is the strength of belief that work related effort will result in the completion of the task. (How hard will I have to work to reach the goal?)
• Instrumentality (Belief) = This is the belief that the reward will be received once the task is completed. (Will they notice the effort I put forth?)

The product of valence, expectancy, and instrumentality is motivation. It can be thought of as the strength of the drive towards a goal. For example, if an employee wants to move up through the ranks, then promotion has a high valence for that employee. If the employee believes that high performance will result in good reviews, then the employee has high expectancy. But if the employee believes the company will not promote from within, then the employee has low instrumentality.

Therefore, the employee is not motivated to perform any harder.

Business Plan

What Is A Business Plan

The primary value of your business plan will be to create a written outline that evaluates all aspects of the economic viability of your business venture including a description and analysis of your business prospects.

Why Prepare A Business Plan?
Your business plan is going to be useful in a number of ways

• First and foremost, it will define and focus your objective using appropriate information and analysis.

• You can use it as a selling tool in dealing with important relationships including your lenders, investors and banks.

• Your business plan can uncover omissions and/or weaknesses in your planning process.

• You can use the plan to solicit opinions and advice from people, including those in your intended field of business, who will freely give you invaluable advice. Too often, entrepreneurs forge ahead ("My Way!") without the benefit of input from experts who could save them a great deal of wear and tear. "My Way" is a great song, but in practice can result in unnecessary hardships.

To help get started in lining up appointments, you can fill in and use the following template. We have also provided a larger blank template for you to use at the end of this session.

Names include your investors, family members, banker, lawyer, attorney, business mentors, trusted business friends, potential customers, competitors (distant ones), potential landlords, and the U.S. Small Business Administration.

What to Avoid in Your Business Plan

Place some reasonable limits on long-term, future projections. (Long-term means over one year.) Better to stick with short-term objectives and modify the plan as your business progresses. Too often, long-range planning becomes meaningless because the reality of your business can be different from your initial concept.

Avoid optimism. In fact, to offset optimism, be extremely conservative in predicting capital requirements, timelines, sales and profits. Few business plans correctly anticipate how much money and time will be required.

Do not ignore spelling out what your strategies will be in the event of business adversities.

Use simple language in explaining the issues. Make it easy to read and understand.

Don't depend entirely on the uniqueness of your business or even a patented invention. Success comes to those who start businesses with great economics and not necessarily great inventions.

Business Plan Format

The Business Plan format is a systematic assessment of all the factors critical to your business purpose and goals.

Here are some suggested topics you can tailor into your plan:

• A Vision Statement: This will be a concise outline of your business purpose and goals.

• The People: By far, the most important ingredient for your success will be yourself. Focus on how your prior experiences will be applicable to your new business. Prepare a résumé of yourself and one for each person who will be involved with you in starting the business. Be factual and avoid hype. This part of your Business Plan will be read very carefully by those with whom you will be having relationships, including lenders, investors and vendors. Templates for preparing résumés are available in your library, Kinko's, bookstores and the Internet under "résumés."

However, you cannot be someone who you are not. If you lack the ability to perform a key function, include this in your business plan. For example, if you lack the ability to train staff, include an explanation how you will compensate for this deficiency. You could add a partner to your plan (discussed in Section 4) or plan to hire key people who will provide skills you don't have. Include biographies of all your intended management.

• Your Business Profile: Define and describe your intended business and exactly how you plan to go about it. Try to stay focused on the specialized market you intend to serve.

• Economic Assessment: Provide a complete assessment of the economic environment in which your business will become a part. Explain how your business will be appropriate for the regulatory agencies and demographics with which you will be dealing. If appropriate, provide demographic studies and traffic flow data normally available from local planning departments.

• Cash flow assessment: Include a one-year cash flow that will incorporate your capital requirements . Include your assessment of what could go wrong and how you would plan to handle problems.

• Include your marketing plan and expansion plans.

• Refer to helpful government Web sites such as the Small Business Administration. See "Resources" on the home page of this Web site.

Six Steps To A Great Business Plan

Start-up entrepreneurs often have difficulty writing out business plans. This discipline is going to help you in many ways so don't skip this planning tool! To make it easier, here are six steps that will produce a worthwhile plan:

1. Write out your basic business concept.

2. Gather all the data you can on the feasibility and the specifics of your business concept.

3. Focus and refine your concept based on the data you have compiled.

4. Outline the specifics of your business. Using a "what, where, why, how" approach might be useful.

5. Put your plan into a compelling form so that it will not only give you insights and focus but, at the same time, will become a valuable tool in dealing with business relationships that will be very important to you.

6. Review the sample plans we furnish and download the blank format to a MS Word document. Fill this in as you progress though the course.

Does Your Plan Include the Following Necessary FactorsA Sound Business Concept: The single most common mistake made by entrepreneurs is not selecting the right business initially. The best way to learn about your prospective business is to work for someone else in that business before beginning your own. There can be a huge gap between your concept of a fine business and reality.

• Understanding of Your Market: A good way to test your understanding is to test market your product or service before your start. You think you have a great kite that will capture the imagination of kite fliers throughout the world? Then craft some of them and try selling them first.

• A Healthy, Growing and Stable Industry: Remember that some of the great inventions of all time, like airplanes and cars, did not result in economic benefit for many of those who tried to exploit these great advances. For example, the cumulative earnings of all airlines since Wilber Wright flew that first plane are less than zero. (Airline losses have been greater than their profits.) Success comes to those who find businesses with great economics and not necessarily great inventions or advances to mankind.

• Capable Management: Look for people you like and admire, who have good ethical values, have complementary skills and are smarter than you. Plan to hire people who have the skills that you lack. Define your unique ability and seek out others who turn your weaknesses into strengths.

• Able Financial Control: You will learn later the importance of becoming qualified in accounting, computer software and cash flow management. Most entrepreneurs do not come from accounting backgrounds and must go back to school to learn these skills. Would you bet your savings in a game where you don't know how to keep score? People mistakenly do it in business all the time.

• A Consistent Business Focus: As a rule, people who specialize in a product or service will do better than people who do not specialize. Focus your efforts on something that you can do so well that you will not be competing solely on the basis of price.

• A Mindset to Anticipate Change: Don't commit yourself too early. Your first plan should be written in pencil, not in ink. Keep a fluid mindset and be aggressive in making revisions as warranted by changing circumstances and expanding knowledge.

• Include Plans for Conducting Business Online: According to the January 2005 Trend/Forecasting Report of The Dilenschneider Group, in the U.S. alone, the 2004 holiday season online shopping jumped by more than 25% from 2003. (In 2005 it jumped another 25%!) Consumer and business-to-business online sales are set to expand exponentially in the coming decade, and small retailers can reach an ever-increasing pool of customers. Be sure to see the how-to details in the following Session 10, E-commerce.

Formulate (and Reformulate) Your Business Plan

Donald N. Sull, associate professor of management practice at the London Business School, in an article in the MIT Sloan Management Review issue of fall 2004, offers some practical suggestions on managing inevitable risks while pursuing opportunities. Here is a capsulation of his suggestions on how to formulate (and reformulate) your business plan:

• Be flexible early in the process and keep it fluid. Don't commit too early. Expect your first plan to be provisional and subject to revision.
• Ask yourself if your experience or expertise gives you the right to an opinion on your specific opportunity.
• Identify your potential deal killers: variables that are likely to prove fatal to the venture.
• Clearly identify what you see as the key drivers of success. What are you betting on here?
• Raise money only in sufficient amount to finance the experiment or evaluation you next envision, with a cushion for contingencies.
• Delay hiring key managers until initial rounds of experimentation have produced a stable business model.
• At some point, take the plunge and test your product or service on a small scale in the real world through customer research, test marketing, or prototypes.
• Test and refine your business model before expanding your operations.

Top Ten Do's and Don'ts

TOP TEN DO'S

1. Prepare a complete business plan for any business you are considering.
2. Use the business plan templates furnished in each session.
3. Complete sections of your business plan as you proceed through the course.
4. Research (use search engines) to find business plans that are available on the Internet.
5. Package your business plan in an attractive kit as a selling tool.
6. Submit your business plan to experts in your intended business for their advice.
7. Spell out your strategies on how you intend to handle adversities.
8. Spell out the strengths and weaknesses of your management team.
9. Include a monthly one-year cash flow projection.
10. Freely and frequently modify your business plans to account for changing conditions.

TOP TEN DON'TS

1. Be optimistic (on the high side) in estimating future sales.
2. Be optimistic (on the low side) in estimating future costs.
3. Disregard or discount weaknesses in your plan. Spell them out.
4. Stress long-term projections. Better to focus on projections for your first year.
5. Depend entirely on the uniqueness of your business or the success of an invention.
6. Project yourself as someone you're not. Be brutally realistic.
7. Be everything to everybody. Highly focused specialists usually do best.
8. Proceed without adequate financial and accounting know-how.
9. Base your business plan on a wonderful concept. Test it first.
10. Skip the step of preparing a business plan before starting.

Evaluating the Potential of Business

Characteristics of a Successful Entrepreneur


Guts:
Guts means you must have an entrepreneurial instinct, which is an overwhelming desire to have your own business. You must have the guts and dedication to be completely devoted to your goal. Incidentally, devotion to your goal is much more likely if you have a love for your intended business. Life is too short to start a business that doesn't give you satisfaction and joy. And, through good times and bad times, you will stick with something you love. As Solomon said, "There is nothing better for men (and women!) than they should be happy in their work-so let them enjoy it now."

Brains:
While appropriate educational credentials are important, entrepreneurial "brains" means more than scholastic achievements. To become a successful entrepreneur, you should have a working knowledge about the business you plan to start before you start it. Common sense, combined with appropriate experience, is the necessary brainpower. Prudence, follow through and attention to detail are very important.

Capital:
Every Business needs money of your own plus sufficient cash to maintain a positive cash flow for at least a year. In a future session operating entrepreneurs will learn how to forecast future cash requirements through cash flow control. Many businesses can be started on a very small scale with a small investment. Then, as the business grows and you gain experience, cash flow from your business can be used for growth. In some cases, you don't need starting capital to hire other people because you might start by doing everything yourself. The "do it yourself" start is a good way to learn everything about your business and also makes you better qualified to delegate work to others later on. You can control your risk by placing a limit on how much you invest in your business.

Step-by-Step Approach

Decide if you really want to be in business:

You are putting some (not all, hopefully) of your net worth at risk. You may run the risk of becoming eccentric, meaning creating a life that is out of balance, with working hours taking away from other family or pleasurable activities. There may be levels of stress you have not experienced as an employee.

Decide what business and where:

Once you are satisfied you have the characteristics of a successful entrepreneur and that you definitely want to be in business, then you must decide which business is best for you and where to locate that business. Selection strategy is covered later on in this session. Also see our home based business article for those considering operating a business from their home.

Decide whether to operate full-time or moonlight:

There are some interesting advantages and some pitfalls in operating as a moonlight business. (That is, a business you start in your off hours while still working at your current job.) More often than not, the advantages of starting as a moonlighter outweigh the risks:

• You avoid burning your bridges of earnings including retirement, health and fringe benefits and vacations.

• Your full-time job won't suffer if you maintain certain conflict of interest disciplines, including compartmentalizing your job and business into completely separate worlds.

• You can avoid conflict of interest with your job by choosing a business that is appropriate for moonlighting, such as single products, real estate, specialized food, e-commerce, direct marketing or family-run operations.

• There are great advantages for operating a family business. If you are a moonlighter the family can run the business while you are at work. You have a built-in organizational structure. You can teach your kids the benefits of being in business.

But there are also some pitfalls to consider in starting a moonlight business:

• There is a temptation to spend time at your job working on your moonlight business. That is unfair to your employer and should not be done under any circumstances. (You may need a family member or some trusted person to cover emergencies when you are at your job.)

• Another problem may be competing with your employer, which is not right. Think of how you would feel or handle this employee if you were the boss.

• Any kind of conflict with your regular work can jeopardize your job and your moonlight business.

• Overwork and mental and physical exhaustion can also become a very real problem for moonlight entrepreneurs.

A special message for people in transition:
If you happen to be unemployed and are thinking about starting a business, our following template "Helping People in Transition" will offer some suggestions.

Selection StrategyOperating the wrong business is the most frequent mistake that start-up entrepreneurs make. Here is a checklist to help you to evaluate if you are in a potentially successful one or to reassess the business you are in:

• If you have not yet selected a business, take your time and wait for the business that is just right for you. You will not be penalized for missing opportunities. The selection process takes a lot of planning and your experience and complete knowledge is vital for your success.

• Don't tackle or pursue businesses that may be too challenging. It is better to identify a one-foot hurdle than try to jump a seven-footer.

• Try to identify a business that has long-term economic potential. Follow Wayne Gretzky's advice, "Go to where the puck is going, not to where it is."

• A big mistake can be an error of omission. This means you may fail to see an opportunity that is right in front of you.

• Keep in mind that as a general rule specialists do better than non-specialists. Wouldn't you be more inclined to take your sick cat to a veterinarian whose practice is limited to cats rather than to a general practitioner?

• Operate a business that will grow in today's and tomorrow's markets. Many small retail stores are no longer in business because huge stores such as Wal-Mart and Home Depot provide more choices to the customer and often at a cheaper price.

• Follow the advice of Chairman Warren Buffett, of Berkshire-Hathaway Inc. and the most successful business picker in American history. Mr. Buffett looks for businesses that focus on a "consumer monopoly" with pricing power and long-term predictable growth prospects. Here are two books that will give you invaluable insights into how Mr. Buffett selects businesses in which to invest. You can copycat these basic principles to help select your own business.

  BUFFETTOLOGY by Mary Buffett and David Clark. The previously unexplained techniques that have made Warren Buffett the world's most famous investor.

  THE WARREN BUFFETT WAY by Robert G. Hagstrom, Jr. Investment Strategies of the World's Greatest Investor.

• Businesses to avoid are "commodity" businesses where you must compete entirely on price and in which you must have the lowest cost to survive. As Mr. Buffett has said, "In a commodity type business you're only as smart as your dumbest competitor."

• Most service businesses have pricing power. Pricing power means that you will not need to have the lowest price in order to secure business. Your customers will be willing to pay a fair price for a better product or service.

• Should you bet on a business you don't know when you can bet on a business you do know?

• If you are manufacturing a product, consider the pros and cons of contracting out production to a low-cost supplier. In other words, operate a "hollow corporation." A "hollow corporation" is a company that subcontracts manufacturing and packaging.

• If your business is based on marketing an invention or patent, keep these ideas in mind:
  1. First check to determine if there are any issued patents similar to your idea. You can secure information from the U.S. Patent office at http://www.uspto.gov/.
  2. Be cautious about getting involved with firms that ask for up-front fees to market an invention.
  3. No matter what you hope for, you will need a product to test, to show and to solicit feedback.

Things to Watch Out For:

• Impatience

• Do not let over confidence can short circuit you from analyzing your business carefully. You must not fear hearing the negative aspects; it is much better to be aware of them and face them early on.

• The lure of high rewards. They will come if you have selected the right business and if you understand every aspect of the business before you open its doors.

Required Activities

It is worth repeating again: The most common mistake and the most costly one is not selecting the right business initially. This is the time for soul searching for operating entrepreneurs.

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET DECIDED ON A BUSINESS, DO THIS:

On the top of a blank sheet of paper, write an activity you like to perform (make this the heading). Do a separate page for each activity or interest you have.

On those same sheets list as many businesses you can think of that are related to that activity.

On the same sheets, list all the products or services you can think of that are related to that activity. Use your imagination and think of every possible product or service you could perform.

Make a list of businesses that do better in bad times (one may be appropriate for you). Some examples might be pawnshops, auto repairs and fabric stores.

EXAMPLE

Let's assume you end up with three potential businesses: towing service, used car sales and auto repairs. You can now make a comparative evaluation using the following checklist (or better still your own checklist) with a 1-10 scoring system. This kind of analysis can help you gain objectivity in selecting your business.

Objective	Towing Service	Used Car Sales	Auto Repair
Can I do what I love to do?	6	3	10
Will I fill an expanding need?	8	5	10
Can I specialize?	7	8	10
Can I learn it and test it first?	9	8	9

This kind of analysis can help you gain objectivity in selecting your business.

How To Evaluate The Business You are in or Have In Mind

Here are some questions to help clarify your thoughts:

• Is it something I will enjoy doing? As Harvey McKay has said, "Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life."

  Also, if you're doing something you love, you're much more likely to stick with it through thick and thin times.

  My favorite activities are __________________________
  I like to serve people by ________________________________

• Will it serve an expanding need for which there is no close substitute?

• Can I be so good at a specialized, targeted need that customers will think there is no close substitute? For example, in California, nobody comes close to See's Candies.

• Can I handle the capital requirements? In Session 8, you will learn a simple cash flow control method to forecast your future cash needs.

• Can I learn the business by working for someone else first? Our favorite example: if you're planning to open a convenience store, for heaven's sake go to work for a national chain first!

• Could I operate as a hollow corporation, without a factory and with a minimum number of employees? For example, if you have in mind marketing a line of furniture, you might consider outsourcing to a manufacturing vendor in China. Cost savings is often the prime objective, but you also free up your time and capital. The major risk is the performance of the vendor and your success in developing good relationships that provide mutual benefits.

• Is this a product or service that I can test first? Your concept of a successful product or service may not be in harmony with the reality of the market place. On a small scale, prove it out first. As Wolfgang Puck states: "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes."

• Should I consider a partner who has complementary skills or who could help finance the business?

Click To View

Use a "For" and "Against" List to Evaluate your Business

Make a "for" and "against" list regarding characteristics of the business. On a blank piece of paper, draw a vertical line down the middle of the page and list on one side all the "for's" and on the other all the "against's." Sometimes this will help clarify your thinking. Or, you can use the template provided at the end of this session. We have provided a "for" and "against" template for you to use at the end of this session.

Write down the names of at least five successful businesses in your chosen field. Analyze what these five businesses have in common and make a list of reasons for their success.

Talk to several people in your intended business. Don't be afraid of the negative aspects of your intended business. Instead, seek out the pitfalls -- better now than after you open your doors. Take notes if possible. Write down the information as soon as you can.

Analyze the competition that are not doing well and write down the reasons.

Get Completely Qualified

Before you proceed further in your business, get completely qualified:

• The best way to become qualified is to go to work for someone in the same business.

• Attend all classes you can on the skills you need: for example, accounting, computing and selling.

• Read all the "How To" books you can. Here are three good examples:

  Made in America: My Story By Sam Walton		The Book of Entrepreneurs' Wisdom: Classic Writings by Legendary Entrepreneurs By Peter Krass (Editor)		The Great Game of Business By Jack Stack

• Don't be afraid to ask questions or seek help from the most successful people in your intended business.

Decision Time

To get the most benefit out of the next 13 session of this course, you should have either:
a. decided on a business to start or,

b. be operating the business that you think is best for you!

Top Ten Do's and Don'ts

TOP TEN DO'S

1. Live frugally and begin saving up money for operating your business.
2. Learn your business by working for someone else in the same business first.
3. Consider the benefits of starting a moonlight business.
4. Consider the advantages of operating a family business.
5. Objectively measure your skills and training against potential competition.
6. Consider subcontracting to low cost suppliers if you're manufacturing a product.
7. Test market your product or service before starting or expanding.
8. Make "for" and "against" list describing the business you are in or considering.
9. Talk to lots of people for advice.
10. Make a comparative analysis of all opportunities you are considering.

TOP TEN DON'TS

1. Quit your job before you have completed start-up plans.
2. Consider operating a business in a field you do not enjoy.
3. Risk all the family assets. Limit your liabilities to a predetermined amount.
4. Compete with your employer in a moonlight business.
5. Be in a hurry to select a business. There is no penalty for missed opportunities.
6. Select a business that is too high a risk or hurdle. Go for the 2-foot hurdle.
7. Operate a business in which you must have the lowest price to succeed.
8. Neglect to learn the negative aspects of an intended business.
9. Permit entrepreneurial self-confidence to outweigh careful diligence.
10. Allow the promise of a conceptual high reward deter reality testing first.

We Will Not Go Down Song For Gaza

Sekedar info, ada sebuah lagu bagus untuk saudara-saudara kita di
Palestina, semoga kita tergugah untuk berdoa bagi mereka.

WE WILL NOT GO DOWN (Song for Gaza)
(Composed by Michael Heart)
Copyright 2009


A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they're dead or alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who's wrong or right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Terjemahan lirik dalam bahasa Indonesia

Cahaya putih yang membutakan mata
Menyala terang di langit Gaza malam ini
Orang-orang berlarian untuk berlindung
Tanpa tahu apakah mereka masih hidup atau sudah mati

Mereka datang dengan tank dan pesawat
Dengan berkobaran api yang merusak
Dan tak ada yang tersisa
Hanya suara yang terdengar di tengah asap tebal

Kami tidak akan menyerah
Di malam hari, tanpa perlawanan
Kalian bisa membakar masjid kami, rumah kami dan sekolah kami
Tapi semangat kami tidak akan pernah mati
Kami tidak akan menyerah
Di Gaza malam ini

Wanita dan anak-anak
Dibunuh dan dibantai tiap malam
Sementara para pemimpin nun jauh di sana
Berdebat tentang siapa yg salah & benar

Tapi kata-kata mereka sedang dalam kesakitan
Dan bom-bom pun berjatuhan seperti hujam asam
Tapi melalui tetes air mata dan darah serta rasa sakit
Anda masih bisa mendengar suara itu di tengah asap tebal

Kami tidak akan menyerah
Di malam hari, tanpa perlawanan
Kalian bisa membakar masjid kami, rumah kami dan sekolah kami
Tapi semangat kami tidak akan pernah mati
Kami tidak akan menyerah
Di Gaza malam ini

Asli nich lagu bagus bener, yg nyiptain musisi asal Los Angeles.

Download MP3 Lagunya (FREE dan LEGAL)

http://www.michaelh eart.com/ sfg/downloads/ a22685d/dl. php?
file=we_will_ not_go_down. mp3

Atau lihat di YouTube
http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=dlfhoU66s4Y